Thursday, October 10, 2013

Ceremony Transcript

Here is a transcript of our Wedding Ceremony that we crafted. Our Officiant was amazing. And my husband's vows were too. It was the perfect day. We borrowed ideas, analyzed traditions and developed a ceremony that was uniquely us:

Officiant’s Opening Remarks:
Good afternoon, everyone. Before we begin, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: “Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!”
We are here to witness the joining together of Kristina and Matthew; two people who have found, among all of the other beings in the universe, exactly what they seek in one another.
With all that is known, there is so much more that is not. There exists an infinite pool of knowledge, of which, from time to time, we may dip in our hands to grab at droplets of theory, probability, and reason. But, in all of these things we attempt to confine within a box of input and output, there are the intangibles that we will simply never be able to explain.
And the first reading will a quote from Albert Einstein read by the father of the groom. Please respond to the readings with: “so say we all”
Reading 1:
"Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. How on earth can you explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love? Put your hand on a stove for a minute and it seems like an hour. Sit with that special girl for an hour and it seems like a minute. That's relativity."
Jessica: So say we all.
Guests: So say we all.

Officiant’s Address:
We can ponder those chemical reactions that cause our hearts to beat a little faster at the sight of him, or speculate about why, exactly, hearing her tinkling laughter, or seeing her smile, physically takes our breath away. Scientifically, we know that upon falling in love, all we can think about – borderline obsess about – is this other human. We are willing to do what we can to make them happy and accept us as the providers of that happiness for as long as they will have us.
However, falling in love can only partially be attributed to biology, chemistry, and mathematics. In reality, the immense well inside of us all that holds onto the longing, desire, passion, affection, and companionship we feel when we are close to the one that we love is greater than any physical body. It is more massive than any constraints placed onto it by time and space. It is almost too big to be allowed. And with the combination of two of these fathomless wells... it stands to reason that the components of love are greater than the sum of its parts.
The Second reading is from the "Balance of Terror" in the first season of The Star Trek Original Series read by the grandmother of the bride
Reading 2:
 "In this galaxy, there's a mathematical probability of three million Earth type planets. And in all of the universe three million, million galaxies like this. And in all of that, and perhaps more, only one of each of us.”
Jessica: So say we all.
Guests: So say we all.

Declaration of Intent: Now the bride and groom will make a bunch of promises to each other that they will be obliged to keep forever.
Jessica: Do you promise to always be friends and love each other, even through the trials of the zombie apocalypse, the stress of the robotic uprising and the possibility of a dystopian future until the heat death of the universe?
M&K: We do!
Jessica: Do you promise to help each other not to take yourselves too seriously, laugh at bad puns, and geeky memes?
M&K: We do!
Jessica: Do you promise to share the good times and support each other in the bad, caring for and comforting one another, always being patient and understanding?
M&K: We do!
Jessica: Do you promise to recognise your strengths and accept your weaknesses, encouraging and inspiring each other to do, and be, better?
M&K: We do!
Jessica: And finally, do you promise that, though you will be joined as one, to recognize that you are two individuals with a shared purpose and connection in life?
M&K: We do!
Jessica: The third reading is an excerpt from the book I Like You by Sandol Stoddard Warburg read by Erika and Allan, friends of the bride and groom

Reading 3:

I like you because 
I don't know why but
Everything that happens
Is nicer with you...
On the fourth of July 
I like you because it's the Fourth of July
On the Fifth of July I like you too
If you and I had some drums
And some horns and some horses
If we had some hats and some
Flags and some fire engines
We could be a HOLIDAY
We could be a CELEBRATION

We could be a WHOLE PARADE
...Even if it was August...
Even if it was no place particular in January
I would go on choosing you 
And you would go on choosing me
Over and over again
That's how it would happen every time
I don't know why
I guess I don't know why I like you really
Why do I like you?
I guess I just like you.
I guess I just do."

Jessica: So say we all.
Guests: So say we all.

Jessica: The bride and groom have written their own vows. The bride and groom will roll a die to see who goes first.
I knew from our first date, our first conversation, our first kiss that you were the man I was going to marry. I came on strong, you gave my some guff about “being busy” when I persisted. I responded to you:

“Life can always be used as an excuse not to do something. Everyone is always busy; I'm busy too. What I know is that I love spending time with you, my stomach does little flips when I see you and you make me smile.”

And it is all still true.

After that I think our hearts made room, made space for each other-or maybe we made each others’ hearts grow a little bigger. Because we can always find the space and the time to accommodate true love.

I can’t promise to be perfect. I can’t promise that we will never fight or that I won’t get mad when you leave the kitchen a mess.

But I can promise to remember where we started, to always make space for you in my heart. I can promise to play games with you, to nurture our relationship, to be honest and faithful. I can promise to always leave a note.

I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you.
I love you and I like you.

I promise that you will always be the first and the last person I think of each day. I promise to love you more than the collective cuteness of all of our pets in the past, present, and future. I promise to humanely remove all spiders from the bedroom so you can sleep peacefully. I promise to eventually stop bothering you about playing miniatures games, but I still hope that someday you’ll change your mind. I promise to make you dinner if you promise to clean the dishes. I promise to do the laundry if you clean the dishes. I promise to clean the litter box if you clean the dishes. Really, I just don’t like cleaning dishes, and I’ll do whatever you want if you just clean the dishes… but I promise that I will do the dishes if you want me to.
The best decision I’ve ever made in my life was agreeing to meet you at the Lansdowne Pub on a whim. I’m glad that you found me and that you loved me enough to push me beyond my own insecurities. I don’t know what I did to get you to love me but I promise I’ll try to keep doing it.
I promise that the last word out of my lips on my deathbed will be, “Always.”
I love you and I like you.
Ring Exchange
Jessica: The couple will now exchange rings to symbolize their eternal love.
To couple: Repeat after me: I give you this ring as a reminder that I will love you and like you every day of your life.
Kristina: I give you this ring as a reminder that I will love you and like you every day of your life.
Matthew:  I give you this ring as a reminder that I will love you and like you every day of your life.
Unity Cocktail:
Kristina and Matt have decided to concoct a unity cocktail to represent the union of their two families. At this time I would like to ask Victoria and Joel to approach the altar.
(As they approach) The bride and groom have chosen a drink called the Honeymoon Cocktail from the book  Vintage Spirits and Forgotten Cocktails by Ted Haigh. It is strong at first but then smooth and friendly.
Victoria, Matt’s mom, will add Benedictine- Deo Optimo Maximo-to signify faith in each other, faith in love and faith in God

Joel, Kristina’s dad, will add Calvados, a type of apple brandy to represent heritage  

Matt will add the Lemon juice which represents fidelity in love
Kristina will add the Orange curacao to represent good fortune, health and vitality

(Jess Mixes and pours into glasses, couple toasts the guests then each other before drinking)
Mixed together, the components of this unity cocktail represent something that is greater than the sum of its parts. The mother of the bride will read a quote to summarize this unity
Reading 4: "Dumbledore would have been happier than anyone to know there was a little more love in the world." 
Jessica: So say we all.
Guests: So say we all.

Jessica: The final reading is a quote by Robert Fulghum, read by Kim, aunt of the bride
Reading 5: “We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”
Jessica: So say we all.
Guests: So say we all.

Closing Remarks
It should seem impossible then that, in the grand expanse of the universe, within our tiny solar system, even upon our little blue-and-green Earth, we could ever find a reason to feel significant. But, here we are, celebrating that very event. Kristina and Matthew found each other. Since that happened, they have chosen to spend the rest of their lives bound together, as husband and wife. They will find love and friendship in one another; reminisce fond memories made and share dreams of the future. They will be the pillars that will provide support to carry them through difficult times; they will put things into perspective with their wit and their silly banter.
They were lucky enough to find each other; it only makes sense that they should never let each other go.
Declaration of Marriage and Sealed with a Kiss:
Jessica:  Kristina and Matthew, I know pronounce you Husband and Wife. You may KISS!